Sunday, 18 September 2016

Starting a serious relationship in your Teens


I’ve never been on Tinder, in fact barely anyone even had a smart phone when I met my soulmate; we were all still walking around with Nokia’s. I’ve never gone home with someone I met at a club because I was only seventeen when I became tied down. People always ask me how I’ve managed to stay with someone for so long or why I got with someone so young and missed out on so much. Really, truly, honestly, I don’t think I’ve missed out on anything. I didn’t expect to meet the love of my life at seventeen but I did and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

A little unexpected

Dom and I have lived in the same town all our lives and even went to the same infant school. Despite having over 100 mutual friends on Facebook at the time, we never officially met until I started working at the local cinema where Dom was my new colleague. We always joke that we didn’t meet until he was ready for me. Lots have people told us we were too young to start seeing each other so seriously but to be honest, we didn’t see it coming. I was going off to Uni in Bournemouth and Dom was staying here in Surrey. We both thought it would fizzle out over the summer but we just got stronger and became inseparable.

Difficult at times 

I’m not going to lie in this post and say that falling in love forever at seventeen is ideal, because it isn’t. Ironically, it’s not the things people ask us about that have been hard. We were so young and didn’t see it coming. We have changed so much as people in the last six years which is something neither one of us anticipated. At times we have grown further apart, we don’t have a ton in common anyway and it’s mattered more as we’ve grown up. I think sometimes I’m not the person he fell in love with and we were either going to grow our relationship together or fall apart. Unconditional is not optional and I love him more all the time, even as he changes.

It was hard in the beginning because we didn’t know how to treat each other. We hadn’t learnt much from past relationships because we’d barely had any. For me I was bossy and stubborn and could be really hard on him. With him it was learning the boundaries when it came to other people. We learnt to be loyal to each other and kind and caring. We really have seen the worst in each other and at times been bloody awful. We learnt all of our relationship lessons together, and mostly learnt them the hard way. I think this is escalated because we made mistakes together but all relationships go through hard times regardless of age. 

After leaving Uni, we realised we didn’t envision the same future. I wanted to go travelling and be free and Dom wanted to buy a house and settle into a career. These are the kind of things you discuss when you start a relationship in your twenties or thirties but as kids we just never considered it. It’s taken a lot of compromise and conversations to create a future we can both be happy with and I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard sometimes. The difference is that we choose to be together and make each other happy.


The greatest part of my life

On the flip side, our love has been absolutely everything to me. Dom has changed my entire life. He makes me stronger and more confident. I’m so excited to tell him things and share my life with him. He has been there for me through all of the really awful times but also all of the greatest times in my life. We both did Uni together and graduated! We both finished college together. We’ve had six years of birthdays and anniversaries and holidays and family days. We’ve taken care of each other on sick days (snaps for Dom for being so nice when I had glandular fever for weeks) and we've literally been there for every big or small thing since our only problem was being too young for the local nightclub.

This is only going to carry on. When I’m 80 I can turn to Dom and say: ‘remember that time when…?’ and he will know because he has always been there. There’s a film where the girl asks the guy what he would do with a time machine and he says: ‘I would have found you sooner and loved you longer’ and I get that. I’m just happy that I get to wake up and love him every day. He has only ever made my life more than what it is, why would I ever regret being with him even if it started so soon in my life?


There have most definitely been difficulties with being in a serious relationship in my teens but overall it’s just like any relationship. At what age are you able to fall in love according to society? None of us ever choose it or know when it’s coming. I’m in a happy healthy relationship and I love our story. Sorry for the soppy, loved up blogging, back to regular content next! 
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3 comments

  1. Aw this is lovely to read. My husband and I got together when we were just 15 and we've just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary!!! We too grew up together and are soulmates, and I love him more every year (if thats even possible!) I would rather have found my soulmate at a young age rather than it taking years to find him. You'll have more difficult times ahead, as we all do but you'll always have each other for support.
    Steph
    x
    www.pricelesslifeofmine.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Salute to you for commiting to a relationship at such a young age. I'm 18 and I haven't even started thinking about those kinds of things. Yes I have a boyfriend but I don't think it will survive me going to university; our life goals just don't mix.As people we aren't the same which is why nobody should judge.

    http://successhacks.co.za

    ReplyDelete
  3. Salute to you for commiting to a relationship at such a young age. I'm 18 and I haven't even started thinking about those kinds of things. Yes I have a boyfriend but I don't think it will survive me going to university; our life goals just don't mix.As people we aren't the same which is why nobody should judge.

    http://successhacks.co.za

    ReplyDelete

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